Meetings Shmeetings

Occasionally, my job requires me to go to meetings. For the most part, I really don't mind going to these meetings. I don't have to contribute to them in any way and it is nice to get out of the office for an hour or two. The funny thing about these meetings is that they rarely, if ever, apply to me or anything I do. This actually makes them all the more enjoyable because I don't have to pay attention and will not be held accountable for the things covered in the meeting. Instead, I can just relax and make fun of the presenters and the wacky comments that inevitably accompany the presentations.

Today, the two other full time secretaries and I had the opportunity to go to one of these lovely meetings. It was a meeting for the whole college, so it wasn't just our department. I'm not quite sure why we were invited, but we went anyway. My boss swears that if we don't attend the meetings "they" will be mad. I'm not quite sure who "they" are, but apparently "they" would notice our absence and there would be problems if we were not present. I think that these meetings are something that my boss professes to hate, but secretly loves. They give her a solid hour to sit in the back corner and catch up on whatever book she might be reading at the time. Smart woman. Anyway, today we went to this "mandatory" meeting and, true to form, sat in the very back corner. My boss wasted no time getting her book out and my pregnant coworker and I braced ourselves for an hour filled with worthless information and less-than-comfy seating.

The presenter was quite an entertaining man to watch and I have to admit to secretly mocking him in my head. I tried to play it cool, but I think I may have laughed out loud at some of his overly dramatic gestures on more than one occasion. The best part was that he thought he was hilarious! He would laugh after everything he said. It didn't matter that the audience would sit silently watching; he thought he was a riot! About ten minutes into the presentation, after sharing copious amounts of irrelevant (and apparently humorous) data he enthusiastically posed the question, "So what is the point of this meeting? Why are we all here?"

(insert sound of crickets)

We sat there for a good minute or so, everyone avoiding eye contact. It was a good question, he stumped us! Why were we here? Finally, after a painful lapse of time, some woman saved the poor guy and said something cliché like, "We have to know where we have been to know where we are going." Riiiight. He bought it and continued on with the presentation.

After the presentation ended, the Dean of the college got up to share some updates about the college and some important plans for the future. He talked at length about some new grants we received and something about how he has a goal to raise 3 million dollars by the end of May. blah, blah, whatever. He also made mention about how they are looking to get re-accredited in April of 2009. My coworker and I shared a quiet celebration, as neither of us will be working here in 2009. Dodged a bullet on that one! As he was wrapping up his comments he casually mentioned that the annual School of Education picnic will be held on May 15th. After closing his remarks, he asked if anyone had any questions. He had covered a lot of important information after all.

One hand went up.

The question: "So what time will the picnic start?"

I'm sure if everyone compared notes after the meeting they would all simply read; "free food, May 15th, 5 o'clock!!!"

What a great meeting.