Breaking the Radio Silence

School is back in full swing. Both boys are loving their teachers and their classes. We are enjoying a more predictable schedule and the weather is feeling more Fall-like every single day. I still have about a million blog post updates to publish -BUT- I decided to break the radio silence to bring you this...

It's pretty much the best thing that has happened to us all year- despite the 24/7 nausea and insane fatigue (I love you, baby!).

After I suffered a miscarriage in July I settled in for what I was sure would be a long road to 4th babydom.

Imagine my surprise when, a month after losing my pregnancy, I started breaking out like a pubescent teenager and started feeling a ravenous hunger between meals that can only mean one thing- pregnant. Not one to jump to conclusions, I went home and took a home pregnancy test. I was shocked to see two lines. TWO LINES!?! Upon seeing the results, I broke down into tears. They were happy tears!- as I had to reassure Zach. (Poor guy, he puts up with a lot.) I was overwhelmed with gratitude and a knowledge of God's love for me. He knows me and is mindful of the desires of my heart. I am so humbled at this opportunity to bring another one of His children into our family. We are so blessed.

Morning sickness began almost immediately. I had virtually no symptoms with my previous pregnancy so I was grateful for the reminder that I was, in fact, pregnant this time around. I took all the nausea and fatigue to mean that things were going well and I took comfort in that. That is not to say that my condition has been "comfortable"- far from it!- but along with all the horribleness of 1st trimester symptoms has come a peace of mind that my little fella is cooking just as he/she should.

At 8 weeks I started spotting. It was an identical scenario to how everything started in July. And it was a Saturday. Oh, and Zach and the older boys were at a Father's and Son's Campout. And we were supposed to be celebrating Brady's birthday with friends at a park later that afternoon. No big deal, right?

Wrong!

I tried to stay calm but I couldn't go the whole weekend wondering if I was losing this baby too. I ended up calling my sweet sister Anne to come stay with the kids and, after calling around to several doctor's offices and getting the same instructions, Zach and I headed to the emergency room as soon as he and the older boys walked through the door later that morning. They did some blood work and administered an ultrasound. In the ultrasound we could see a little peanut of a baby with a little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen. I was relieved to see that little heart beating away but I was still concerned for that little gummy bear alien inside of me. They then proceeded to hold us captive keep us for another 2 hours before the doctor finally came in to tell us what was going on.

Diagnosis: a small subchorionic bleed. (Basically slight bleeding between the uterine wall and the placenta) The baby was perfectly healthy and my blood tests showed that I was "very pregnant." At 2:00pm- four hours after arriving- we left with happy hearts and empty stomachs. We were starving! We stopped for lunch on the way home and were able to continue on with the rest of the weekend as planned. Anne was truly the hero of the day, however, as she stayed with the kids all morning and then stayed on to help me with Brady's birthday party and kept me company that night while Zach watched the BYU game in the basement. Thanks Anne!

It was a tense few weeks between my ER visit and my first OB appointment. I wasn't sure what I was or wasn't allowed to do. I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief at my first OB appointment when the ultrasound showed no signs of the subchorionic bleed- it had cleared up on it's own! Back to our previously scheduled pregnancy. Please?!

I'm hopeful that it will be smooth sailing from here. As smooth as: mood swings, 50lb. weight gain, unsightly acne, constant oscillation between nausea and feeling starving, multiple trips to the bathroom every night and future aches and pains associated with literally transforming into the Goodyear blimp: can be. Oh pregnancy! I love you.

All joking and snarkiness aside, I am eternally grateful for the chance I have to bring this child into our family. I have a new appreciation for how fragile this whole process can be and will not take a single part of it for granted ever again. Pregnancy is a miracle at every stage and I am humbled that I have been entrusted with such a huge responsibility. I pray everyday that this baby will get to my arms safely. April can't come soon enough! :)