"911. What's Your Emergency?"

One of the highlights of my job has been receiving our office's monthly health newsletter, The Well Workplace. I don't know who decided that we should get this delightful little publication, but it always comes as a treat and a refreshing break from doing actual work. The newsletter always has intriguing articles about ways to make your life at work more healthy. Some past features have included:

• Why You Should Quit Smoking
• Why Sleep is Important
• Exercises You Can Do at Your Desk!
• How to Manage Your Diabetes

One issue featured an article entitled, "What Your BMI Can Tell You." After reading this article, a slender coworker of mine came over to my desk a little distraught and said that the article told her she was obese! With a little bit of research we realized that rather than entering her height in inches, she had entered 56 for 5'6". If she were in fact 56 inches tall, I suppose she would have been obese. Good to know. Thanks Well Workplace!

Like I said, these newsletters show up on our desks about once a month and often provide us secretaries with lots interesting conversation, in addition to broadening our understanding of healthy practices in the workplace.

Today, we received June's issue of The Well Workplace. As I was browsing through the newsletter, I came across an article entitled, "When You Should Call 911." (pictured above) The article included a list of nine instances when you should call 911 immediately. I began to read the list and everything sounded about right. Number 1: Shortness of Breath, 2: Chest or Upper-Abdominal Pain or Pressure, 3. Possible Spinal or Neck Injury.... nothing really surprising. The list went on to include emergency situations like coughing up blood and disorientation. It wasn't until I reached #7 that I had to do a double-take and laugh out loud.


A feeling of impending doom? Really?

Well, according to the article:

"You should trust your instincts- if you feel a sense of impending doom, get emergency medical care right away- call 911!"

Turns out, there have been many instances in my life when I should have called 911 and failed to do so. Such instances include, but are not limited to:

1. That one time when I cut all of my little sister's Barbie's hair down to stubble and heard my mom walking down the hall...
   
2. When I opened my fourth grade teacher assignment and saw that I got Mrs. Bodie (aka Bodie the beast) ...
   
3. Every morning before walking into Franklin Middle School...
   
4. Numerous times in high school when I was driving home and realized it was after curfew...
   
5. In college, when I was standing in line at the testing center waiting to take my Calculus final...
   
6. Pretty much every time I see a certain faculty member's phone number pop up on my caller ID or when I see her walking toward my desk... dun, dun, dun.

Man, I am lucky to be alive!