A couple weeks ago my friend posted "Pregnant Women are Smug" on her blog. (To fully appriecate this post, you probably should read the original.) I guess it was on The Late Show and while I can see the humor in some of it, I think my version is better. I think my friend will come to apprieciate my version as well, especially when she is someday pregnant and working in an office. Sarah, you know I love you! :)
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*Disclaimer: All my experience and inspriation for this post came from my first pregnancy when I was working in an office setting. People haven't been annoying to me at all so far this time around. Perhaps it's because I only see Ryan and Roxy on a regular basis. They don't seem to ask me any questions... It's been awesome. :)
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A "Pregnant Women are Smug by Garfunkel and Oats" Rebuttal
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People ask me tons of questions
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
Unbelievably annoying
You think you know me, and I want to talk to you
Just because I’m pregnant
I can’t count how many times a day
Someone asks me about the “one on the way”
Cashier: So, do you want a boy or girl?
Me: (I answer this 20 times a day) I just want a healthy baby.
Cashier: Really? ‘Cause I don’t feel that those two things are related. It’s not like it’s one or the other.
Me: Really, all I care is that it’s healthy (and that you shut up and give me my receipt)
I can’t wait to hear someone say
“Hi!” and not mention my growing belly
What does it matter if I want a girl or boy?
You will probably never see my baby
People ask me tons of questions
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
These personal questions you feel the need to ask
Makes being in your presence an unbearable task
Coworker: So, is it a boy or a girl?
Me: (Original. Nice.) I don’t know yet.
Coworker: What’re you gonna name it?
Me: (Who are you, again?) I don’t know yet.
Coworker: Are your clothes starting to get tighter?
Me: (Please stop talking.) I don’t know yet.
What part of me growing a baby
Makes you think you deserve all the details
You think you can ask me all these questions
Just because I’m pregnant
What if I asked you lots of questions
About the things going on inside your belly
How is that burrito treatin’ ya? (Please don’t actually tell me)
You think you can and you do, just because I’m pregnant
I’m just having a baby, it happens everyday
I guess only giving birth will save me, from these questions everyday
Coworker: You really shouldn’t lift that box. You’re pregnant you know.
Me: Gosh, you know, I’m glad you reminded me. I totally forgot.
Coworker: When my wife was pregnant… blah, blah, blah
Me: (Have you ever talked to me before now?) Thanks, wow.
People ask me tons of questions
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
Unbelievably annoying
You think you know me, and I want to talk to you
Just because I’m pregnant
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
Unbelievably annoying
You think you know me, and I want to talk to you
Just because I’m pregnant
I can’t count how many times a day
Someone asks me about the “one on the way”
Cashier: So, do you want a boy or girl?
Me: (I answer this 20 times a day) I just want a healthy baby.
Cashier: Really? ‘Cause I don’t feel that those two things are related. It’s not like it’s one or the other.
Me: Really, all I care is that it’s healthy (and that you shut up and give me my receipt)
I can’t wait to hear someone say
“Hi!” and not mention my growing belly
What does it matter if I want a girl or boy?
You will probably never see my baby
People ask me tons of questions
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
These personal questions you feel the need to ask
Makes being in your presence an unbearable task
Coworker: So, is it a boy or a girl?
Me: (Original. Nice.) I don’t know yet.
Coworker: What’re you gonna name it?
Me: (Who are you, again?) I don’t know yet.
Coworker: Are your clothes starting to get tighter?
Me: (Please stop talking.) I don’t know yet.
What part of me growing a baby
Makes you think you deserve all the details
You think you can ask me all these questions
Just because I’m pregnant
What if I asked you lots of questions
About the things going on inside your belly
How is that burrito treatin’ ya? (Please don’t actually tell me)
You think you can and you do, just because I’m pregnant
I’m just having a baby, it happens everyday
I guess only giving birth will save me, from these questions everyday
Coworker: You really shouldn’t lift that box. You’re pregnant you know.
Me: Gosh, you know, I’m glad you reminded me. I totally forgot.
Coworker: When my wife was pregnant… blah, blah, blah
Me: (Have you ever talked to me before now?) Thanks, wow.
People ask me tons of questions
Coworkers do it, complete strangers do it
Just because I’m pregnant
Unbelievably annoying
You think you know me, and I want to talk to you
Just because I’m pregnant
9 comments:
oh it's SO true... i got so tired of everyone monitoring my behavior and telling me i "shouldn't be doing that" because i was pregnant. I'm not handicapped, I'm just pregnant!
this time around I get skepticism..."you're pregnant? really? are you sure? you don't look pregnant..." thanks for clearing that up. I'll continue being "not pregnant" until the little girl doing flips in my belly decides to make an appearance.
Thanks for sharing that Brooke! I went to the other blog, and I really didn't think that first song was funny at all. I guess it's all about your perspective. Your song is so true that it would be funny if it weren't true. You know? Haha. I did smile, but it was the painful smile of why exactly does being pregnant make strangers think they can touch my stomach?
And I am so impressed that you wrote this! Because it is so true and funny (as noted above) and it flows really well. I'm impressed. I mean, you've always been creative with sewing and projects, etc., but yeah this is like lyrics to a song. Anyway, I think you're awesome. :)
My favorite was the woman at work that patted me down the day I found out the gender. She was convinced she could tell if I was having a boy or girl by "feelin" my tummy/hips etc. When she was right that it was a boy, she was so proud of herself...
I wanted to tell her, "uh, you had a 50/50 chance! Don't be that impressed with your pat down skills."
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!
XOXO Melanie
P.S. I had someone tell me I shouldn't be eating Panda Express because I was pregnant, while I was eating it...pregnant...REALLY! I'll eat whatever I can actually keep down, thank you very much!!!
(that felt good...may be I should write a song too!)
Now I just get the comments, "you're pregnant again? How many are you going to have?" Or "is this the last one? You're done right."
Nice. It's none of your business people.
Brooke that was hilarious! A perfect rendition. I do remember how annoyed you would get with everyone lol. Dr. Hanson... good times. Thanks for the shout out too!
I LOVE YOU. That was the greatest rebuttal ever. And I actually didn't think the other version was funny at all, to tell you the truth. You should like, write greeting cards or something :)
SEE YOU SO SOON!
I loved your rebuttal. I finally read the original and I must say you are a very talented writer...not just because you are pregnant! If pregnant women are smug then people who ask them personal questions are nosy and rude. You win. the end.
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